okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS
‘To Harry Potter - the Boy Who Lived!’
THERE’S JUST A BRANCH IN MY EYE
MY EYES ARE JUST SWEATING, OH DON’T MIND ME
whoops. just chopped a heap of onions and mistook chilly sauce for the eye drops..
I am not a human I am a fountain
I think I just tricked a bunch of guys at my work into thinking I’m car savvy.
They were all discussing different types of cars and one of them jokingly asked me what my dream car was.
Naturally, I said a black, ‘67 Chevy Impala.
They all got these really impressed and surprised looks on their faces and started nodding, saying things like “Yeah.” “Nice choice.” “That’s a good one.”
They think I’m a car person now.
I say what’s, what’s cooler than bein’ cool?
why hasn’t anyone talking about this?
Osric what are you doing
is he playing guitar with a orange?
He’s not taking Kevin’s death well
GUYS WE NEED TO REEVALUATE OUR LIVES.
YOU KNOW THE SCOOBY DOO GANG?
VELMA IS 15.
FRED IS 16.
DAPHNE IS 16.
SHAGGY IS 17.
SCOOBY IS 7.
WE ARE LITERALLY THE SAME AGE AS THE SCOOBY DOO GANG MY ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE.
EVERYONE MUST BE ENLIGHTENED OF MY HEART BREAKING DISCOVERY. I’M TAKING YOU ALL DOWN WITH ME.
I’m… I’m older than Shaggy….
i need to be like 12x hotter than i am now
12x0 is still 0
Alright, here’s something funny. These boys in my hall went outside in their undies to take some photos in the snow. Funny, right? They’re trying to get attention and it’s hilarious. Us ladies choose to do the same, we are wearing more clothing, and are doing the exact same poses. We are wearing as much clothing as is acceptable at the pool or the beach, at the gym, etc.
There is a serious double standard here— us girls have gotten responses like:
"What’s the point of being half naked?"
"*ahem* sluts *ahem*"
"What’s wrong with you females?"
Or worse, what my mother said. Her initial shock was apparently because she thought I was in my underwear, but when I told her I was in a swimsuit, she was suddenly happy I was having fun in college.
The idea here is that we are doing the same thing. When arguing this point with one of my hallmates, he said “But men’s bodies aren’t built the same, you don’t see girls getting pumped up over a topless guy, but how many guys do you think are gonna get all crazy over a topless girl?” Seriously? Really? Women don’t need to dress in order to avoid a reaction from men. You’re mad because you can’t control yourself? Men can pose in their undies in the snow without an issue because women aren’t going to go wild over it? Keep it in your pants, that’s your responsibility, not ours.
The double standards are killin’ me.
"Keep it in your pants, that’s your responsibility, not ours." Is literally one of the best quotes I’ve ever heard. Thank you.